Life Laugh Love: A Whole New World

My oh my how life has changed!

Updating this blog is getting pretty hard since I have an adorable bundle that is constantly filling up my arms! :) Luckily right now she is cuddled into my side so I'm going to attempt to write something!

Mommyhood is amazing...simply amazing! I love every minute of it (I even told Dan I was ready for more kiddos! Don't worry he talked me down pretty quick! haha). It can be exhausting at times but I haven't felt the "sleep torture" that everyone was warning me of! Harper typically eats around 11pm, I head to bed shortly after, and she wakes every 3 hours to eat. The hardest part is getting her back to bed after her 5am feed! She is often wide awake & wanting to party! I honestly don't mind the frequent wakings and kinda dread the day she STTN (sleeps through the night). I love our middle night cuddles! If she has a rough night and I feel too tired then Dan will usually get up and give the morning feed by bottle while I pump and catch a few more hours of Zzzzzs!

One thing that seems crazy to me is that she hates, hates, HATES all of her baby gear! If you attempt to get her into her swing or bouncer she will completely freak out. Crazy to me since those items are the only way NICU nurses remain sane some nights! I am so glad that we recieved all those things from a friend for free....I would hate to have wasted all that money! For now my sweet little girl is only content when she is in someone's arms (usually mine!). While it does make getting ready pretty hard, I wouldn't change it for anything! I used to laugh when I heard moms talk about how they couldn't find time for a shower....well now I completely understand! If Dan is working and not able to help out then the shower is a pretty hard accomplishment! ;) Thankfully I'm still able to get stuff done around the house with my Moby wrap! I couldn't imagine life without it! She is slowly getting too heavy for the stretchy wrap so I am on the lookout for a German woven wrap! There are so many gorgeous ones to choose from that I am having the hardest time (I see a new hobby coming up!). I also want one that is used so I don't have to spend the huge amount of time breaking it in! (hopefully I will be doing a post about babywearing soon!!).

What is so amazing to me is seeing her little personality slowly start to show (and I'm afraid I have a bit of a diva!). The first 3-4 weeks were pretty much just eat, sleep, poop.....but once she hit 1 month her eyes flew open and she started noticing the world. I think the most stressful part of being a mommy so far is trying to figure out if I'm doing everything I should be for her developmentally! We do tummy time everyday (and she is getting really good at it!) as well as read books and play the "look at mommy making funny faces" game. Entertaining a one month old is not an easy job! So far her favorite thing to do is be held where she can look over my shoulder and walked around. This girl loves seeing everything! If she is wide awake and we are not walking then she gets pretty upset! I am really looking forward to when the weather cools down so we can go on long outdoor walks...I think she will love them! :) It also looks like she is going to start smiling soon! She will randomly give smiles (started at about 3wks) and always does them in her sleep but I am waiting for one that isn't just a reflex!

Other big things that have happened this month are:

* She gained 2 lbs and grew 1 1/2 inches! Her one month stats were 8lbs 15.5ozs and 21.5 inches!! Breastmilk does the body good!
* She got her first cold :( We both were down for a few days and hearing her little coughs and hoarse cry were heartbreaking for me!
* She went on her first plane trip!

We flew home to TX when she was 3 wks old to see my grandfather who isn't doing too well. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer a few months ago and has been given a terminal prognosis. He attempted one dose of chemo which almost killed him (the reason we flew home in a hurry!). Luckily he pulled through (thanks HUGELY to my AMAZING nurse husband!! I will never forget how incredible he was!) and was able to meet the great-granddaughter he had been so excited about. The trip was incredibly hard as I have never seen my grandfather as anything but a strong amazing man but I will forever be grateful that he got the chance to see my daughter. At times he didn't know who anyone was...but he could always tell us who the pretty baby was! Sadly he was disappointed that he couldn't really hold her (too weak) or take her out to the country to show her off to all his family/friends. My hope is that as he gets stronger he will be able to go back out there, and we have promised to take her back to TX so he will get the chance too. I know that I don't have much time left with him.....and my heart breaks at that. I've never lost someone close to me....and my grandparents (who basically raised me) are the most important people in my life besides Dan & Harper. I just hope I have the strength to say goodbye and survive losing him.

Proud Great-Grandfather!

Great-Grandma (otherwise known as the baby whisperer!)

Other than that sad note and some crazy family drama (not blog-worthy!) this has been the most incredible month of my life! I still can't believe how much I love this tiny little thing! I loved her the minute I saw her face but the real connection and LOVE seems to grow everyday as I really get to know her. So far I cannot stand to be apart from her! Dan took her to run errands without me last week for a few hours and it was the first and only time we have been seperated! I couldn't wait to get her back! I am so so so thankful that I get to be a stay at home mommy right now! I couldn't imagine going back to a full time job in the next week or so!

Here are a few more pictures!